This morning's meditation brought with it a thought that "I" had never thought of before.
       I am a Realist.
       This seems to be an odd thought to entertain since my life for the last eleven years has been lived from a place of what one could call extreme spiritual idealism.  Ever since a moment of tremendous awakening, everything changed.  Upon reflection, I wondered exactly what it was that had changed everything in my life so drastically.  It wasn't a small, incremental change, it was an instantaneous and radical one.  There were instant changes in mood and energy levels that produced instant changes in the material world.  It literally felt like one day I was living from the 'normal' confines of right and wrong, good and bad, better and worse, and the next day I was living from Grace and everything I touched turned to gold so to speak.  And, even when it didn't appear to, it just didn't matter, I was in Heaven. 
       All of that stuff the mind had conjured up for all of those years; supposed mistakes I had made in the past; physical illnesses and limitations; addictions;  limited identities, i.e. woman, overweight, shy, financially limited, anxious, depressed, white, thirty years old......all of these faded into the grand expanse of unlimited possibility and pure source energy.  From that space of infinite beingness, it's not that these things weren't true about me, it's simply that they were not Real.
       In these last eleven years there has been much integration, and much continued manifestation in grace, and in these last few years I had actually started to believe some of those limited things about myself and others again.  It takes courage to be a Realist in this world.  There are those wo are still very caught up in the limiting conditions, taking them as reality, not understanding or forgetting, that those conditions are created by an ego out of touch with Reality.  These incredible rationalizations made by realists, that can be very enjoyable for the ego mind to 'think about'.  It can spend great amounts of time and energy focusing on a problem that does not exist in the greater Reality, and therefore would never be completely  'solved' at the thinking mind's level. It may be managed, but never solved.  It could only be 'solved' by the realization that in Reality the seeming problem does not exist.      
       Once this insight occurs, the 'non' solution presents itself.  We would call it a non-solution since it is not something that is directly fighting a limited circumstance that does not exist in Reality, but it is an action inspired by Grace, Peace, Joy and Wonder, raising the vibration to such where the problem no longer exists, producing what would be called a miracle. 
         There is almost a curse for those who are possessed with a great intelligence.  That mind will possess you, take you for a ride through all sorts of stories, dillemas, and problems. It will rationalize reasons for why you can't live fully now.  Why your dreams are impossible.  Why you should and shouldn't.  It will hold your soul hostage, convince you through fear and doubt, and meanwhile get the very thing it needs to survive; your belief in a limited reality. 
       With fear as your sheppard you will be too afraid to make a mistake and go against the grain.  With doubt as your staff you will never be able to trust yourself enough to live the greater destiny you were put here to live.  With lack as your mantra  you will be condemned to live the limiting life you give your energy and focus to.  You will only do enough to get by.  You will only play as big, as richly and deeply as those that surround you.  If you are not surrounded by those who have had a glimpse, a taste, a touch of this greater Reality, live in a space of Joy and Love,  and have devoted their lives to living in Reality, you will be under constant pressure to dim your light in order to fit in.  If the mind has convinced you that you can't surround yourself with other Realists physically, at the very least let them surround you mentally through books.  I do have to warn you though. Realists can be very threatening to realists. Soul is very threatening to ego. Egos, realists, can prove their cases very well through rationality,  but in the end we find that they are right for one reason, and that is they think they are right.  As they believe, so shall they see. 
       As a Realist, though, you no longer believe anything.  You no longer even think anything in the most real sense of the word.  The thinking, ego-mind that has created all of the "problems" by believing in a world of right and wrong and good and bad, of basically, separation, has no place in a Realist's life.  That mind dies daily, it is taken apart limb by limb,  by the greater Reality, the Higher Power, the Great Mystery, the Full Enchilada.  However you would like to impart It, to name It, this overwhelming Freedom that is more Real than anything the thinking mind could have ever imagined , just Is. 
       So, on this Easter Sunday, on this day of ressurection and rejuvination and celebration, make it a point to intend to ressurect the Realist within you and let go of any sense of limitation. Intend to see life not even a mental idealism, but from the greater Truth that You Are, have always been, and will always be; as a Spiritual Being.  Come out from the real world, and into the realm of the greater Reality.  Into What Is.  Into Love.  Namaste.

JUST ONE

 

Your Face

Broke into my heart

And took something I never knew I possessed

It caused invisible butterflies

To scatter from the branches of my veins

It spoke seven thousand truths

To the part that had been lied to since the beginning of time

It stuck to my soul

...Like sand between my toes

...Like honey on my fingers

...Like a song playing on my mind

It tore through the curtain

Ripped through the veil

And like a laser,

Pierced through the illusion of shadow

And in it's wake...every doubt in my mind

had been hushed, shushed, and put to rest

It devastated my loneliness,

   shocked my seclusion

   attacked my excuses

It rocked my soul

And sent aftershocks down the dusty

and long forgotten corridors of my destiny

It dug into the dark regions of my being

Without thought or care

And began excavating unmapped and unheard of treasures

It weeded my overgrown and neglected garden,

Seeded my well-tilled and open earth

Took my calloused hand and led me into a new story

Just one look from you

Has branded my soul

Indentured me to eternity

and

To the Joy I never knew existed

To the Dream that lived all along,

In spite of fitful sleep

Just one glance

Just one

And this world

Became home

After 16 hours of travel I found myself (happily) walking down the staircase they had rolled up to the plane at Inverness, Scotland.  Nearing the bottom I found myself counting down, 5...4....3....2...1...  I'm home, came the thought.  It wasn't something I consciously thought about, but it was more of a witnessing of the thought coming to me.  I went inside the small building and someone holding a balloon saying, "Welcome Home." 
Coming to Findhorn has felt like nothing less than coming home.  They had sent someone that works in the community to pick me up since I'm staying at a B&B in the eco village.  Ellen had been there quite some time and we had a wonderful conversation as we drove past beautiful green rolling hills.  Upon pulling into the park I could feel the shift in energy.  Wow.  Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.
I ended up staying in my room the first night getting settled and meditating then woke up at 3am with the sense that someone else was in the room.  Not a scary feeling, but my body kept getting cold, I kept smelling things, feeling a breeze on my cheek with the window closed, and I knew 'someone' was trying to contact/talk with me.  I think the exhaustion helped as there were no filters of 'this is just my imagination' and all of the memories of other times I had been spoken to by others who had crossed over came in, and in that space it felt like the most natural thing in the world.  I talked and journaled and am sitting with all that came through.  In a little while I meditated more and a vision of a show that I've been sitting with started coming into full view.  Wow.  The energy is so clean and clear here I can really hear 'myself' 'think'.  I have no idea how, but there is no doubt about the what at this point.  There was a knowing that everything that was needed would show up in perfect time.
The next day I stayed in the room again for most of the day and slept a bit since I had only slept a few hours.  I went down to see if I could find anywhere that had any raw veggies since I'm eating raw food and have ten more days of a fairly intense cleanse.  They said I could try the community center, but it's really supposed to only be for the people that live and work there, along with other volunteers.  I told them I'd be playing on Saturday and they let me in. 
I sat with two other women who it turned out were from South Africa.  It was definitely a divine meeting as one of the women is already setting me up to come down there and do the 'what' that had come through in the vision, which I hadn't completely shared.  I think it's a line from a cartoon I saw once; "Things happen fast around here buster".  The two of them came to Findhorn in complete faith and it's looking like they might end up moving here.  After about a three hour conversation I looked around and noticed that everyone else had gone from the hall. 
My friend Andy from London, and his partner Volie from Hungary, came in just a while ago and we're on the internet at a library in Forres.  Free internet.  Yay.  Actually, now that I look around, I'm the only one sitting here.  Again.  Better go.....and hopefully find a way to upload pictures.  Or, maybe you'll have to wait until I get back. 
Much much love.....until then.....

Well, here I am ten days later in London and it's pretty obvious that despite my intentions to keep a timely log the divine plan has led other places, seemingly a little distant from ample internet time. 
What has transpired in the last several days has been nothing short of grace, and it is not so much the what of the what, but the What Itself, manifesting so beautifully in all forms.  The love and the care and the beauty has been overwhelming.  Just the simple gift of happy company involving inspiring, deeply reflecting, sometimes hysterical, conversations that last for hours.  The days have been so rich and full and delighful each one deserves it's own entry and I plan on going back and writing about many of the people, places, and experiences when I return.  And, uploading photos.
I drove into London the other day.  It was the first time I had driven in the UK and it was perfect to be able to start out in Scotland, to be following Andy for the first day, then transitioning to driving on my own, down to Gigha, staying a few nights, then down through Glasgow and southeastern England, then the next day, London.  What a shock it was to enter the city after being in such a different, still, environment for a time.  The contrast was so intense at first, then, after a little while, we just settled right in.  It's amazing what we get used to energetically.  I do have to say though, there is a strong intention set for a month or two stay in Gigha for writing.
Well, getting back to the 'Jaia driving into London' aspect of things....mapquest directions....it all seem fairly destined for a major challenge.  If there was ever a need for a gps it was the time!  After missing a turn, then going back three times and coming to the conclusion that I missed the turn because it was not there, I called my friend Andy and he suggested I get to central London then hail a taxi, give him the directions, and ask to follow.  This coming from someone who has lived here a long time. 
Well, after enjoying the scenes and the scenery for a time, a knowing, a remembering came in. One that comes in the songs and in the stillness.  The knowing that all of the answers are within, and even though it felt like, in that moment, all of the answers, except directions to Andy's place, we knew that wasn't the case.  I closed my eyes and tuned in and felt a shift inside.  A peace.  A sense.  A magic. 
After driving a bit more I looked up and saw WC1 on one of the roadsigns and got pretty excited since I knew that was Andy's postal code.  I called him again and after trying to get an exact location he suggested the cab again.  There wasn't room to pull over anywhere for a while and I drove around some more.  Finally there was a good spot to pull over and a cab came right away.  When he heard the address he got a funny look and told me I was only four blocks away.  Four blocks!!  I've heard it said that 'close' only counts in horseshoes and grenades ( I know, horrible, sorry) but this definitely 'counted' as close.
I was so happy to see Andy and as we hugged we heard a car pull up behind us.  It was the other half of the gang, Kirtana and Sharyn, who had taken the Edinborough route and had just come from the airport via taxi. 
There is so much gratitude for the grace that continues to flow in the openness, in the willingness to serve and in the purity of intention.  God is Amazing.
After a visioning process/partial journey process with Andy last night until 1am, I probably should be a little tired, but there doesn't seem to be much room for tired.  I'm at his office now while the rest are out on tour and I get some writing in, and they'll be picking me up for a drive in the countryside. 
Our evening at St. James is tomorrow night and the continual deepening of connection and love that continues to be shared and expressed will only add to the energy and intention in the music and poetry to be shared.  It has truly been and continues to be a deeply sacred journey. 
A pilgrimage. 
An initiation. 
A departure. 
An arrival.
And so it is.

It's probably not the best time, but words truly escape me.   
I've been sitting here for a while, in the internet cafe letting the time tick away.  Just sitting here, waiting for the words to come.  Wondering if they will at all.  Knowing they're already there.
I would say that last night at St James was a dream come true but I couln't have dreamt what I experienced.  I had heard that the space was amazing, a gorgeous church, where William Blake was baptized way back when and that the energy was phenomenal.  But I still wasn't prepared for the beauty and the elegance of the space.  After my sound check I went to one of the side pews and cried.  I felt like I had been born to sing there.  The acoustics were astounding, and the underlying intention and the energy of the space that had been created by those involved with Alternatives filled me with such joy, such hope, such awareness that we are truly the people we have been waiting for and this is the time.  Alternatives at St James is celebrating their 25th anniversary www.alternatives.org.uk 

There are things I have done, sometimes from a space of 'well, i guess this is the logical next step', from impatience, from trying to move it along,,,,usually at times when i'm not taking enough time to be still. Or ignoring a persistent little whisper deep within even when I am.  Then there are things I have done where I know I am there by absolutely no means of my own.  This was one of those.  A Divine appointment.  You know when your whole body knows you are in the right place doing the thing you are meant to be doing.  Or when you meet someone at the perfect time, in the perfect way, that says the perfect thing to bring you back to yourself.  One of those.  You can't make divine appoinments happen.  You can only create the space for them. You can only set an intention.  Possibly, the purer the intention, the more the divine appointments. 

A woman had asked one of us how we had 'gotten in' to Alternatives as she had been trying to get others in for 13 years.  I know I have had a fair share of questions asked in the same sort of intention, such as how do you get to travel all over or how did you get into do such and such, and there's always the sense in those situations that 'I' don't, or 'I' didn't.  They just kind of happen.  It might sound like I'm being vague, trying to keep some kind of secret, but I honestly didn't really know.  Until just today.  Not that I didn't know until now, but, that I just didn't quite have the words to articulate it, or, really have a grasp on the 'how to' angle of things.  So, the simple answer is to imagine it and feel it and you will attract that experience.  The deeper answer and another secret is to let go of the thought of how to, realizing that you will be shown everything you need, drop to your knees and ask how can you serve.  If you only ask how can you serve, and then not move until you get an unmistakable answer from within, you will find yourself in that unbearable sweetness of the awareness of the soul.  Things will come to you that you could not possibly have imagined since you will be vibrating in a space of love and service and joy, expecting absolutely nothing in return.  An interchangable question with how can I serve is 'What do I love?'  Most of us get into service from a state of separation with an underlying feeling that we 'should', that it will make us a good person, and we will help people, but this will end up in burnout and resentment and problems if it is the ego trying to run around and prove itself good, prove itself worthy.  While all of this 'service' is going on, the soul might be waiting for us to stop and listen and hear our true calling.  This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be of service and help people, it's just to realize what part of us is serving and why?  It's not just what we do, it's the consciousness we do it in.  If we are doing anything from a state of separation, of me and you, of us and them, of  "I have to help them because those poor poor people need help", we are serving the illusion just as much as we are helping.  This may sound a bit radical and I do understand.  We are so conditioned to be good people, but until we have the direct experience that dimension of us that is God we will not be able to see it in others and draw it out in others.  We will merely make them dependent on us.  If we are doing what we love to do, what is in our soul to do, what we are thrilled to do, we are happy campers, and providing happy camperness to a world that would appear to need it, and in Reality, Already Is.  If we are going within and realizing the One Self that resides in all things, beyond separation, we will never serve 'another' again- we will only serve God.  In all things.  As all things.  Of all things.  And so it is.  

Left London early this morning and it was raining.  The weather has been beautiful and the last few weeks in the UK have been like a dream.  The experience at the airport was a little less dreamy and a bit interesting.  They wanted to check my guitar so I had to have it as my only bag and check my backpack, carry my computer in my hand and also got a charge for excess baggage, and we were delayed a while too.  Okay.  After coming off the 'tour' though, and a beautiful meditation in the morning, it was pretty easy to remember 'the secret' and choose peace, choose gratitude, choose love. 
It was so good to see Robin & Cody at the airport and we did some errands in town before coming to their place in Dia(?).......
I feel like I've landed in Heaven.
More later.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. 
What a perfect place this has been to land after the time in the UK.  I am learning more every day about thisisland, this gorgeous little town, which has been home, and home away from home, to many of the artistic movers and shakers on the planet for some time.  My friends' home is five hundred years old and everywhere has a sense of timelessness as well as a tight and deeply bonded community.  Everytime I hear something else about this place I fall in love with it a little more. (Where is that manifesting board??)
It is an interesting story in how I ended up coming here. 
I was on a Brian Weiss/James VanPraagh cruise through the mediterranean last summer and Mallorca was one of our stops.  Out of all of our stops it had more things that I wanted to do in terms of the excursions.  I finally picked the monestary in Valldemossa and was thrilled that I did.  As soon as I sat down in one of the pews there I went into a deep meditation and soul remembering.  It felt like plugging in directly to another dimension and I was honestly contemplating what would happen if I missed my bus and just caught the boat back in Rome.  I didn't want to leave.
When I saw several months later that Robin and Cody had moved to Mallorca (they had menitoned they were moving to Spain, but I didn't know what part they were talking about at the time), I couldn't believe it.  Then before I left for the UK I had gotten an email from Robin saying they had seen that I would be in London from one of the fliers that had gone out in the Watkins Bookstore catalog and how about coming down to Spain for a visit afterwards. My initial reaction was, wow, how tempting is that!  But then after checking schedules and such I got that it was much more than a temptation- but part of the divine plan itself.  Especially since I had been told by the still small voice I would be returning soon to the island (probably the only thing that got me on that boat at the time!  :-)

So, here we are next to the sea but nestled in a little valley, surrounded by mountains and in the middle of what appears to be a very tight and healthy community, where everyone smiles and says hi to everyone, where everyone knows everyone else, and where the whole town shuts down and goes into mourning when a loved one passes over.  The only problems they've had with teens are those that come from the US and UK who are in a space of disconnection.  It is so apparent that teens are not "just that way", but they can be influenced to become " that way"  when there is no space for them to be truly seen and heard and valued and loved for who they are, to feel they are part of something larger than themselves, i.e. community, and need to find a connection through something, even if it is violence and acting out.  The values of the island in general, and other parts of Europe, seem to be more oriented towards the individual's well being and happiness rather than the dollar.  What a concept.  In the middle of the day at siesta everything shuts down, which can be inconvienent to someone not used to it, but it is also quite wonderful to remember there are things more important than making money, buying things, or getting ahead.  Enjoying eachother and enjoying life. Learning something new.  Creating.  Some even manage to close up shop for a month or two while they travel. It's amazing what we can do when we let go of what is not possible, based on what the mind has been taught to believe.  (Where is my manifesting board??)

One suprise on the whole trip has been how easy it has been to stay on the cleanse and stay on the raw vegan aspect of life.  Having a Planet Organic healthfood store a block away from Andy's house in London was wonderful- they even had wheatgrass!- and the food here in Mallorca has been phenomenal.  Yesterday we went to a neighboring town, Solleir, where they had a farmers market type deal and we paid the olive man a visit.  There were at least fifteen kinds of olives and after getting many and sampling many and having more on a salad later for lunch I believe I olived-out.  That's bottoming-out olive-wise.  I didn't know I had a limit, but I found myself going to bed a little early and feeling a little like an overzealous kid on halloween night.  I must have had about 20 olives.  Today I'll make sure I don't go over nineteen.  But honestly, the flavors of the fuits and veggies, the dried fruits, nuts.  My goodness.  Heaven I tell you.  I've noticed the times I've gone on the raw food route in the past at a certain point the food starts tasting really good.  I mean really good.  All kinds of subtleties and textures and flavors come out as the processed stuff and toxins clear out of the body and the tastebuds become more refined.  I know an assumption people make is that I am being hard on myself or am depriving myself of things, and there are moments that kind of thought comes in, but really, the secret is, is that everything is done for the pleasure of the soul. For Love.  For the greater expression and awareness of Life.  All the healing, the love, the joy, the beauty, the happiness, the clarity, the freedom, wanting to share that with everyone. All of it is for the pleasure of the Soul.  For the further awakening of the Heart.  There is a quote by Gandhi saying, 'Everything I do, I do for myself.'   I guess we just have to make sure it's the enlightened dimension of Self that is We, who is speaking, rather than an ego that thinks it does anything alone and by itself without affecting another.  In that sense everything we do, we do for all of us, whether we know it or not.  We are One. 
And you know, back to the food thing, I just never knew a blueberry had that much going on.  You just don't know until you try it for yourself.

In fact, trying for yourself, slowing down, enjoying, tasting, savoring, delighting, learning, discovering, creating and loving seem to be the theme here.  Today is Sunday and I don't think anything will be open in town, but no worries, there is so much to do!  I can go back up and sit on my window ledge and look out over the orange and lemon trees, take in the heavenly aromas from their blooms, and just be.  And then see what dreams may come from there. So much to do. 

Am getting ready to leave in a few hours.  I'll have a day in Switzerland, then fly home, as it was about a thousand dollars less to do it that way, and, haven't been to Zurich before, so why not.
I have to say the healing, insights, clarity and vision continue and continue.  It has truly been transformational and perfect and my intention is to continue with this blog writing thing as it has been great to share in this context. 
It has been such a joy to get to know Cody and Robin more and to see a couple that has been together thirty years, doing their lives work together, and who share so much love together.  I have a much clearer picture as to what I want and what it looks like and feels like- and that it is possible!  Such gracious and fun hosts as well!  We drove across Mallorca the other day and have been to the beach, shopping, local cities, we've done it all and have had such a great time together.
Robin has helped me get some clarity as to what my next steps are to take the work out and begin doing some more writing.  Not that people haven't been telling me this kind of stuff for a while now, but I guess I finally feel ready to actually do it and feel like it's time.
One thing that came as I was going through some of the magazines they have, called Ode www.odemagazine.com, is how amazingly dumbed-down we really have become and how our school system and it's very limiting paradigms are just a reflection of the way we have collectively been taught to see ourselves, as limited, and if we're not scoring 100 on the tests, not all that intelligent.
What came to me from there is how amazing and brilliant the guys are that I work with at the prison and how tremendously glad and fortunate I am to be aware that I am not working with 'prisoners'.  If I was working with prisoners I would have to dumb down all of my material in order to fit into my idea of what a prisoner is. I know there are many people working at this level as well which warms the heart and inspires the soul.
At this time we are going through the Artist's Way book by Julia Cameron. The poetry, the depth of insight, the miraculous synchronicity and healing, the genius that comes through in that room is such a gift to my soul I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world.  It is so clear that I don't go to a prison to teach, I go into God's house and hang out with my brothers, the kindred souls that chose to awaken spiritually via these particular means.  I am also clear that it is not my job to help them to learn to survive in a system that put them there in the first place, as much as to open to the greater dimensions in themseleves and continue to empower them to remember who they are as spiritual beings and take one hundred percent responsibility as to what experiences they are creating in their lives.  And every time I do I get to remind myself as well.
One of the guys, who is very tuned in, and who has had visions and dreams of things in the past, told me "there will be a gift for you in Scotland, it will vibrate, and you'll know it when you see it".  I had forgotten about it until I was in a little store up by Finhorn.  We were getting ready to leave the area and it was kind of a roadside department store for travellers.  I went into the kids section and found something that fit the description and thought of him immediately.  He is so right on with this stuff. 
Then days later at Ackermore house on the Isle of Gigha I went to the back gardens where several peacocks had gathered and one had his feathers opened.  He was very, very interested in one of the females and every time she would walk by he would turn towards her and shake his backside.  This was fun to watch and after a while I heard a noise, but  couldn't figure out where it was coming from.  It sounded like a generator turning on and off.  Pretty soon the male peacock turned around again and I could see that the feathers closer to the bottom were vibrating like crazy and making that sound!  He was one excited peacock!
Now my whole body felt that this was the one I was waiting for.  This is the one that I would know when I saw it.  This was the gift.  Even though the other one seemed like the one, that it was a literal gift even, it wasn't the real thing.  The real deal, the real vibration was a gift straight from the heavens.  After a while several of the peacocks came over and walked just a few feet in front of me.  There was such a feeling of peace and joy and connection.  And, thinking about the other gift I can see that it fits into the bigger picture as well.  It all works together.  Everything works together for Good.

The peacock scene though was indeed the gift I would know when I saw it.  I had just gotten off the phone with my friend Andy who had helped me let go of a little thought that was no longer useful and when I told him I was about to go out in the gardens he said something to the effect of: remember that everything you see in the garden is reflecting the beauty within you.  There will be more on Andy in a later entry. What a gift he has been in my life.

The synchronicities with birds continues in a delightful way.  At first, in December,  it was a hawk tearing other birds apart feather by feather as I was going through a real dark night of the soul and letting go of a lot of ideas and ways of being that were no longer needed for the next stage.  Then it was an encounter with a swan right before I left on the trip reminding me I was no longer to identify with the ugly duckling aspect of consciousness and to embrace the inner beauty and allow it to simply be.  And now the peacock.  To so fully embrace who you are and not be afraid to display it, to show it, to be it fully.  To absolutely and utterly shine.  In gratitude and joy and pure love.  I know there is the saying 'proud as a peacock' but I really didn't get that from watching these guys.  They were just being peacocks.  Showing what they got.  Peacocking.  Not trying to do or be anything else.  I think how much I enjoy looking at a peacock with it's feathers on full display and how much the world would miss if they never put them up.  Hmmm......food for thought.  Speaking of food, I think there's some of those olives in the fridge..............more later and gracias gracias gracias Mallorca- and Cody and Robin!!! 
Peace.

Well, here we are in Swityerland, with a kezboard that has the y and z switched.  I trust it wonät be too hard to decipher.  Itäs kind of like a code or something.  A special language from Yurich. 
Hmm....this might be a little much, this kezboard thing, but wanted to share a few experiences on the trip here.  Iäve been reallz reallz concentrating on good thoughts, happz feelings, graceful travelling after the last flight of excess baggage charges, them trzing to check mz guitar and making me check mz backpack adn carrzing mz laptop onboard.  Not the most graceful experience even though we did okaz.  Even when the laptop fell out of mz arms and wouldnät start back up again right awaz.  (a great opportunitz to practice 'the secret')
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
Soooo...just practicing being in gratitude for everzthing and remembering this was the state I was in for so long after an initial opening.  No matter what happened, in gratitude for everzthing.  There is also such a sense of everzthing that I need showing up perfectlz.
So, I decided to send the luggage on to LAX and not deal with hauling everzthing all over the place to staz the extra night.  I know that will all be taken care of as it alwazs is. 
I did realiye though that mz tennis shoês were in that bag and I had reallz wanted to work out.  Well, no problem, there will be somewhere to buz shoes. 
And there was, right at the airport there was a mall underneath with a large outlet sports store.  Brilliant.  And, a woman from Singapore named Rosita who was an angel and directed me back to a section that had pink tennis shoes no less.  She was attracted to the guitar as she plazs as well and we had the most wonderful conversation.  What a delightful exchange.
From there right outside was the hotel bus, which is close to the airport but verz nice, and I was hoping thereäd be a salad at the restaurant.  Not onlz a salad, but a salad bar with five different kinds of lettuce and all kinds of veggies and raw nuts!  Then I wondered if I could get a green apple somewhere to have with mz herbs and on mz waz out of the restaurant was out a bowl of apples.  Not green, but thank zou thank zou thank zou anzwazs...
and guess what....
around the corner a bowl of green apples. 
Thank zou again!!

Okaz, time to go back to the room where I can just sit.  Sit in that 'unbearable lightness of being', in blissful stillness, and feel the gratitude for all that has transpired, all of the prazers that have been felt throughout the adventure, all of the insights and revelations and new directions and the meeting and connecting with old new friends, as it was toasted last night at dinner.  What a gift life is.  What a joz freedom is. 
What dreams maz come.....
and no matter what comes:
Thank Zou